Office Tacticians T-Shirts

"You'll go far in this organization, Taylor, unless I manage to stop you."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

Takeovers.

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

Genius

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

"As you can see, Simpson, I'm not the sort of man who's afraid of confrontation...that is you isn't it, Simpson?"

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

"Do you handle employee salary negotiations as well?"

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

'Larry, you have everything it takes to go far in this company, but a word of advice: lose the laugh.'

"I was able to negotiate it from a hostile takeover to an uneasy alliance."

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

'What say we set aside all our petty grievances and just hate each other on general principles.'

"Hi, I'm Cindy, the company's most toxic employee!"

'Remember, Henderson - Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you've sacrificed your leverage.'

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

'Some executives have within them the seeds of greatness. Others are just seedy.'

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

"The change management consultant wants to move the meeting."

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

"You can't expect to get anywhere in business without making an enemy or two, Filmeyer."

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

"I said, 'Don't worry, I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.' That's when he called my bluff."

So what happens when you told Armstrong you wouldn't recite that Sinclair Broadcasting script? Oh, nothing. Sinclair sued me for everything I own, that's all. But the joke's on them: I've set up different LLC's for every aspect of my life. So all they could get were the assets of the LLC that they paid. This opens up a whole world of possibilities. I knew forming Rudy-has-next-to-nada LLC was a good idea. I am going to miss my ten cents and my broken wiffle ball, though.

"It has come to my attention that there's a traitor in our midst."

"I didn't mean to burn any bridges behind me. It was just a part of my crumbling infrastructure."

'Oi, do you mind, trying to speak to my colleague - two self service tills having a chat together.'