Meeting Mishap Survivor Gifts

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

'...in conclusion, we're in the wrong meeting room.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

Lethal Presentation

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Barbeque Casualty.

'Careful, that's where the boss keeps his ego.'

'I don't want your input until you produce some output.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

'Something tells me this is going to be a long meeting.'

"For cryin' out loud, Frank, we don't have all day! Cut to the cheese!"

'It never fails. I offer a tiny bit of constructive criticism, and everybody accuses me of carping!'

'Brains...brains...brains...'

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'Thanks, Brian, for your thoughtful and constructive proposal. Without further ado, we'll now dive into malicious, envy-based criticism, character assassination and petty bickering!'

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

Unsuccessful board meeting.

Meeting not going well?"

"Maybe you do have all the answers but they didn't match any of our questions."

"It drives me mad when people act as though we had nothing to do except write moronic memorandum..."

violence in workplace

'Looks like another bad PR week for the company. The whole media team got burned in our last email blast."

There's a real disconnect going on here.

'Don't go too far out on a limb - he'll send you to a branch office.'

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

'And this chart shows our rate of growth.'

'I have identified 240 stages of organizational change. Before I discuss them, coffee anyone?'

"Today's meeting will be endless, with a half-hour break for lunch."

People, what a fantastic opportunity for a reset!