Meeting Memos Master Gifts

"This month's business meeting is the same as last month's business meeting but with many more problems."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"What's a debenture?"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'All right! Who put my dozing-off during our last meeting on youtube?'

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

"I believe we have a quorum for the meeting."

"That's unanimous then - we don't know what to do."

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

We called this meeting to decide your torture, Mr. Jones. Then we realized we could kill two birds with one stone by making this meeting eternal.

Covid and Restarting School

'Hawaii can wait. These reports cannot.'

Two plans - one long-term and one short-term.

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

"Any further comments? Alright then, we're adjourned."

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

Man with post it note

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"Just look what we can accomplish when we work towards a common goal...LUNCH!"