Meeting Memo Maker Gifts

A word to the wise. At this morning's meeting you were referred to as the 'the bottleneck'.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"The meeting will come to order."

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'