Mystic Memo Maker Gifts

"Regarding your letter of next Monday ... "

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

"Better to have had ice cream and lost it than never to have had ice cream at all."

Life, love and a lot of bananas.

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"If he doesn't go nuts first, he'll be the first person to ever write a novel on a cell phone."

Fisher, this memo of yours, it needs more punch

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

In/Out/How did this end up on my desk?

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

Pigeon Memos

'What are you doing whining to me about your terrible childhood? Write it all down, you idiot. You've got a bestseller there.'

"No, I did NOT get the memo about "Casual Fridays." Had I known I would have worn flats."

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

"Time to move on. The new CEO signed his memo with an emoji."

"There's also a link to my manifesto in the notes section—www.freewilioz.org, articles four and five, respectively."

Robot selfie stick

Plugged In

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."

"Larry, stop signing your memos with your initials. No one takes them seriously."

A word to the wise. At this morning's meeting you were referred to as the 'the bottleneck'.

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

'This is goodbye, Goopta -- I've decided to make a career move to the Scientologists.'

"He apologizes for not contacting us during the previous session. The wi-fi was off in the hereafter."

WHILE YOU WERE OUT OF BODY...

'My whole life to date catalogued - so when I pop my clogs, those who follow will know what they are chucking away <tsk>.'

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."

"I'm gettng a message from the Other Side ... buffering ... still buffering ..."

"Our open office has encouraged innovative ways to communicate."

'Type that up, make ten thousand copies, and send them to all the important people in the world.'