Mystic Memoirist Gifts

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

"We only got six days of funding."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"Eat my dust!"

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

Phoenix

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

Santa CGI Effect

"Did you have a cat?"

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"I'm writing a memoir. It's mostly recipes."

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

Arresting Adam and Eve

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

What happens on Noah's Ark stays on Noah's Ark.

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

"I'll be right back."

'Reeta can tell your fortune from your bank statements.'

"And now for the 'piece de resistance!'"

'He was brought by the stork.'

'The spirit of Miss Tiger Lilly couldn't come this week!'