Mystic Memoirist Pillows

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

"We only got six days of funding."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"Eat my dust!"

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

Phoenix

Santa CGI Effect

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

"Did you have a cat?"

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.

"I'm writing a memoir. It's mostly recipes."

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

'Hold it right there, pal! I had a vision that your check is going to bounce, so you can just head right back to your car!'

Arresting Adam and Eve

What happens on Noah's Ark stays on Noah's Ark.

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

"And now for the 'piece de resistance!'"

Alternative Big Bang Theory.

"I'll be right back."

You will go on a trip.

'The spirit of Miss Tiger Lilly couldn't come this week!'