Master Of Memos Gifts

Must... Remember...

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"That's unanimous then - we don't know what to do."

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

'A few messages came in during your lunch break.'

Editor.

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

"Bill, I do believe you've written the great American memo."

"I have a feeling this is gonna be one tough course."

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

Man with post it note

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

'I apologize for sending out the meeting memo late. Let me summarize by saying that the entire board is being replaced starting tomorrow.'

The Robotics Department. It says here that these guys completely replace all the cells in their bodies every seven years! Wow! What a slow upgrade cycle! If we don't replace all our parts every six months we become obsolete! It makes you wonder why they're in charge! Yeah, like they expect us to remember thousands of gigabytes of data while they forget their passwords! (Published originally on April 19, 2006)

"Gracie, I'm so proud that you made the academic decathlon team! Here...have some of my special green tea! Ithelps you concentrate and improves your memory!"

"There's a wonderful book on memory tricks here, but I can't remember what I did with it!"