Master Of Meetings Gifts

"That's unanimous then - we don't know what to do."

'Unfortunately when our last window of opportunity opened up, we mistakenly crawled out of it rather than into it.'

'Enough small talk. It's time for big talk.'

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'How's the school board meeting going?'

"Did you give me the finger?"

"When you're through playing Earth Mother, you've got a call on Line 2."

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

"Accepting change involves more than changing the 'Managing Change' meeting to next month!"

"We're cutting costs by recycling his hot air."

"Sorry I'm late. I'm sure you've made productive use of your time."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

The president's men

"What's a debenture?"

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

"I believe we have a quorum for the meeting."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

Covid and Restarting School

We called this meeting to decide your torture, Mr. Jones. Then we realized we could kill two birds with one stone by making this meeting eternal.

Two plans - one long-term and one short-term.

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."