Virtual Meeting Master Gifts

"Your meeting's over. You can relax you zoom face now."

Peeking in on a Bat Zoom Call

"And just to be clear; I don't receive video-meeting invitations. . . I send them!"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"What's a debenture?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

"It has come to my attention that some work-from-home employees aren't maintaining company standards."

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

"Teleconferencing makes it just like they're in the room with us - things are unclear and difficult to understand."

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

Office Meeting

Covid and Restarting School

We called this meeting to decide your torture, Mr. Jones. Then we realized we could kill two birds with one stone by making this meeting eternal.

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

Cat Zoom Meeting

Dog Park Zoom

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"Just look what we can accomplish when we work towards a common goal...LUNCH!"

"Thanks for coming in."

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

'And this is where we all suddenly started getting bad vibes.'

"I excel at appearing awake in meetings."

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

"Agenda item 14 C, does anyone have any idea what happened in Game of Thrones?"

"We're not doing virtual meetings anymore, Stu."