Online Meeting Master Gifts

Hold on – is our Zoom showdown at high noon central time? Or are you on mountain?

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"What's a debenture?"

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

We called this meeting to decide your torture, Mr. Jones. Then we realized we could kill two birds with one stone by making this meeting eternal.

Office Meeting

Covid and Restarting School

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

"...is somebody playing Wonderwall?"

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

Dog Park Zoom

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'

"Just look what we can accomplish when we work towards a common goal...LUNCH!"

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

"Agenda item 14 C, does anyone have any idea what happened in Game of Thrones?"

'And this is where we all suddenly started getting bad vibes.'

"I excel at appearing awake in meetings."

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

"Hold my video conferencing calls, Gina."

Attendees Anonymous

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

Negative Interest Meeting

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

...read the minutes back but skip the part where Mr.Bostock tried to strangle me.