Meditative Smoker Pillows

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

My God, I need to fart.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Zenemies.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

Meditation

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

Professional woman in pub

'Have you been working out?'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

Grok's Thought Stopping.

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'