Meditative Fighter Pillows

'I think things went wrong for me in the fifth round.' 'In hindsight, was that a good time to begin meditating?'

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Zenemies.

My God, I need to fart.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

Meditation

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

"It is my place!"

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"Did you unpack your baggage yourself?"

'Have you been working out?'

Wrestling Our Inner Demons

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

I swear, you don't hear a word I don't say.

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

Grok's Thought Stopping.