Meditative Athlete Pillows

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

My God, I need to fart.

Zenemies.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

At the 2021 Religious Games

Unguided imagery

Meditation

"Uptight End"

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"Showoff"

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"Show off."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."

'Have you been working out?'