Meditation Mocker Gifts

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Where your mind & battle are los

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Counting ribs

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Dog yoga

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Be Healthy

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"Try thinking about something else."

Mind-Fullness

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'Oh, crap.'

"The overthinker"

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."