Meditation Guru Gifts

Don't laugh. Meat and milk production is up 50%.

The trouble with 'Sitting like a mountain'.

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

Yoga.

"Oom..."

Guru on the roller coaster.

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

Please Seat Yourself

"You have to learn to live in the now. Maybe next week – our time is up."

Jack would later be charged with premeditated murder.

'If suffering is good for the soul, why the cushion?'

' thought I had reached true enlightenment, but it was only my underwear binding on me.'

'The meaning of life? Gee, that's kind of a toughie...'

"Out of body back in 10 minutes"

'Dropped calls aren't my problem. My problem are dropped cell phones.'

'Seeker of enlightenment, it may be wise to reconsider your mantra.'

"Now. Hear. This."

Patience

"I spy with my mind's eye..."

"I'm in the 56-year intensive program, all meals included."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

"I'm hoping to sell my startup - a chain of fast-food meditation centers - to Google for seven figures."

It's ok - the oxygen mask only dropped because your plane of consciousness was too high.

"I am going to SoHo. My doshas are all out of balance. Well, my kapha is hunky-dory but my pitta and vata are out of whack. Today the practitioner is going to get rid of all the stress with geranium, ylang-ylang, bergamot, and patchouli, and, of course, a little time in the steam tent."

Windup yoga

"Swami Ananda, here, has also discovered the secret of life!"

"Behold my perfect window of existence, when I'm neither trying to wake up nor falling asleep."

Timmy felt calm among the Redwoods.

"OMMMMMMMMM..." "AAAAAAAA!"

"Ha ha. You tell that one in every lifetime. Ha ha. It never gets old."

Guru and robot meditate next to each other.

Behind the Scenes of Your Wednesday Night Yoga Class

'No, we may NOT have a karaoke night!'