Mediocrity Critics Pillows

'A lackluster style got me to where I am, and a lackluster style is going to keep me here.'

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Charlie Beck Loves Austin Beutner

The Epic Battle Over Anthony Kennedy's Replacement Is the Charadiest of All Charades Ever

Down With Wikipedia

Capitalism: Creates, Jobs & Wealth.

"What are you going to do about so many people living below the poverty line?''

"Hot off the wire! In the latest poll, 99% of voters say they will be glad when the election is over... The poll has an error rate of plus or minus 2%."

'Yes, I wanted a knight in shining armour, but I didn't know it'd be me doing all the shining!'

"I don't have any opinions, and my wife things whatever Oprah thinks,."

'Occupy Wall Street protesters?'

"This is a ritzy ski report - it's all fake snow."

'We don't believe your story: a wolf would never attack a sheep.'

"Today on the ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: 'Wolverine.' Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. You people today have the attention span of a chimpanzee!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said."

'Though we must innovate, and though we must grow, we must never lose sight of our core mediocrities.'

'The trouble with you doctors is that you don't really understand what the NHS is for.'

Britain sinking and losing it's identity.

Soap Opera

Fake News for Fake People

In doctor's surgery: 'I'm terribly worried, doctor...he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly anymore.'

'Never, Ever...believe everything you read.'

Virtual interview.

If there were no religion...s

"This is like the time you had me sell water as a 'diet drink'."

Targeted Advertising

'They want the medals back. Apparently, you used a Vicks inhaler before going over the top in 1916.'

An Anarchist's Christmas

Business men line up at the police station

Robert Macaire recieving expensive gifts from his love

"Remind me again, did the President say that or was it the Kardashians?"

"I hope they're not fake commandments!"

"And with the amazing scores of 99.95, may I present Roger and Milly Mallard!"

Tony Blair's Apology for the Iraq War

"Baldo, negative stereotypes that insult people serve no purpose! What people really want is thoughtful, family-oriented material."