Medieval Culture Adventurer Gifts

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

At the Museum

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

Alien David statue

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Knight feeding his kids.

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

Joust Sharpener

"The knights of the round accent table"

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

TV jester.

"Oh great, the printer is down."

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

You had me at vintage.

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

Knights of the bedside table.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

underwater knight

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'