Medieval Culture Adventurer Gifts

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

At the Museum

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Alien David statue

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

Knight feeding his kids.

"The knights of the round accent table"

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

TV jester.

Joust Sharpener

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"Oh great, the printer is down."

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

underwater knight

Knights of the bedside table.

You had me at vintage.

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."