Medicinal Maverick Gifts

'Dentristry medicine.'

2021

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"The first one's just a warning."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'Your reflexes are still good!'

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

'Veins...arteries...I told you I can never tell one from another.'

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'