Medical Mavericks Gifts

"Of course, it's a highly experimental procedure, but we're trying out new techniques from other disciplines all the time."

"Duct tape..."

'We wouldn't dream of blaming you...'

"Actually, dentistry is just my hobby."

Doctor with 'Out patient' clip board being sped up by 'Competition', 'Technology' and 'DRG's'

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

"That's a big fat lie!"

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

'I like to think of the common bile duct as the gateway to the Bahamas.

Health Care Crisis table.

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

First aid departments

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

'Doctor, the patient would like to know when he can return to being an overbearing, stressed-out pig?'

Biomedical Conference. To incentivize advances in medical science, more cures and fewer diseases should be named after people.

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

"We could try reversing the drug's side effects with gene therapy, but we don't want to get into trouble with the SPCA."

Celebration in operating theatre.

"You just made medical history Mr Burnside. Your're the first one ever struck by lightning while on a bed pan."

Cleaner with nameplate next to Consultant Surgeon's desk.