Medication Maverick Gifts

"....and in local news....the suspects in Saturday night's bank heist are still on the loose."

A woman looking at a sign in a pharmacy that says "Staff Picks".

Ted failed to follow the advice on his medication that he not operate heavy machinery while on it. Now he's planning to sue the drug company.

Warning: Do not send any emails while taking this medication

'... I pull the trigger, and band! Down goes the pill. So, Mr. Knox, are you going to take your medication now, or do I have to resort to the Pill-Matic?'

"I'll trade you my pink pills for these blue ones....what do you say?"

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

Grandma's caf

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

'Have you any W fronts?'

'I like to think of the common bile duct as the gateway to the Bahamas.

Health Care Crisis table.

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

First aid departments

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

"Looks like he's coming around to our way of thinking."

"We could try reversing the drug's side effects with gene therapy, but we don't want to get into trouble with the SPCA."

Biomedical Conference. To incentivize advances in medical science, more cures and fewer diseases should be named after people.

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

'He's determined to not pay for The Times online.'

Cleaner with nameplate next to Consultant Surgeon's desk.