Maintenance Maverick Gifts

Garage "Now then, squire, what would you like first - the bad news, or the really, really bad news?"

'You are to bring in the whole tractor, not just the part being recalled.'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

Grandma's caf

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

'You're kidding... I've got a masters in philosophy too!'

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

'Andrew loves taking things apart and putting them back together...except he can never actually put them back together...'

'You CAN Pass The Turing Test!'

Gym. I'm not sweating --- My muscles are crying!

"You again?"

"An election is like a car repair where the car owner has to pay a lot of money to have old broken parts replaced with new broken parts."

'I used to wrap the couch in plastic, but this is better.'

The lawn mowing industry was ripe for innovation.

Mobility scooter driver has stickers for all pedestrians he's knocked over.

"I'm no longer afraid of doctors. It�s the medical insurance men that frighten me!"

"Don't even think about it."

"I'll trade you my pink pills for these blue ones....what do you say?"

'Look at it another way. Think of the money you'll save on tires.'

'They're automating the bottling process? Why? Just yesterday, me and my team managed to cork four bottles.'

Pensioner on a mobility scooter who leaves run over pedestrians in his wake has a sign reading 'How's my driving?'

Ten minutes later, the rescue helicopter landed...

If Bernie Ecclestone does not get his pound of flesh from Montreal, the Canadian Grand Prix will not roll.

'They're very easy to use - just remember not to press the large button marked 'Nitro' '

Three legged crutch for a three legged man

"Larry's taking a victory lap around the crab grass before putting the mower away for the winter."

'I'm not sure this is the best way to get relief from your poison ivy, Bob.'

'Are you sure these are the new regulation seat belts?.'

Castaway uses a PC instead of a bottle.

Mobility Solutions

Warning: Do not send any emails while taking this medication

Trust me, you said. Technology gives us a competitive advantage, you said.

Compass needed to navigate lawn mower in long grass.