Medically-inclined Gifts

"I did warn you about the heat in Greece, Mrs. Marsdon, a sunburnt tongue is no laughing matter."

"To be or not to be."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"Isn't there an app for this?"

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

"Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake."

Priest's x-ray showing his crucifix.

'A doctor in the hospital's basement agonizes over the ethics of pulling the plug its ailing furnace.'

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"What fly?"

"Thank God you're here. Walter has been Barry Manilowing us to death."

Cankersaurus

'Look, another Now Available store is opening! Maybe yo could get a job there. They seem to be opening stores all over town!'

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only Google has those records."

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

"And now a special report from 'News 4' Science Editor, Dr. Frank Lovell, on how to remove your own gallbladder."

'Oh george dear, the landlord has raised the rent!' 'Has he? I can't!'

Clown Firing Squad.

'For Valentine's Day!'

Illegal abortions and surgeries are causing deaths in women

"It's little Pharma. Want some baby aspirin?"

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

"You are very seriously ill...you need to go somewhere where they have stem cell research...that would be just about anywhere but the United States."

"He has a pretty rare blood group."

'That's the last time I ask Janice to book the stripper for the office party.'

'You're the one who called for a locksmith?'

'Dr Phil sez, if I'm gittin' the milk for free, I should do the right thing and marry her!'

"Doctor, enough with the ‘clear.’ My husband’s dead!"

"Our medical intuitive will read your now."