Medically-inclined Pillows

"I did warn you about the heat in Greece, Mrs. Marsdon, a sunburnt tongue is no laughing matter."

"To be or not to be."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"Isn't there an app for this?"

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

"Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake."

'A doctor in the hospital's basement agonizes over the ethics of pulling the plug its ailing furnace.'

Priest's x-ray showing his crucifix.

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

"Thank God you're here. Walter has been Barry Manilowing us to death."

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

Cankersaurus

"What fly?"

'Look, another Now Available store is opening! Maybe yo could get a job there. They seem to be opening stores all over town!'

"It's time to end the suffering."

'I'm beginning to see some change in you.'

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only Google has those records."

M.D. Mrs. Hoskins is here to match wits with you regarding her symptoms.

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

"And now a special report from 'News 4' Science Editor, Dr. Frank Lovell, on how to remove your own gallbladder."

Clown Firing Squad.

'Oh george dear, the landlord has raised the rent!' 'Has he? I can't!'

'For Valentine's Day!'

Illegal abortions and surgeries are causing deaths in women

"It's little Pharma. Want some baby aspirin?"

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

"You are very seriously ill...you need to go somewhere where they have stem cell research...that would be just about anywhere but the United States."

"He has a pretty rare blood group."

'You're the one who called for a locksmith?'

'That's the last time I ask Janice to book the stripper for the office party.'

"Do you mind if I put this on instagram?"

'Aaaaaah! Kenny's fallen in! Don't make eye contact! Play dead, Kenny! Play dead!'

'Dr Phil sez, if I'm gittin' the milk for free, I should do the right thing and marry her!'