Medical Treatment Musers Gifts

"The problem with a cure is that you will once again feel your normal self."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

"OK, now you can sing your heart out."

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

'I wasn't responding well to the pills but my doctor finally got my mood stabilized.'

"I'm in for observation."

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 8.

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

Delta and Omicron Race

No, "enlightenment" is on the next peak. I teach "ignorance is bliss."

"But am I happy? Very."

"Bit if I'm here...how can I also be up close and personal to my managers?"

'Now, 'ol doc, he'd have wrapped 'er the other way.'

I'm bored and broke. My gadgets seem old and outdated. I can't buy anything new. I can't work because the economy stinks. I'll just die of boredom. Hold on. Surely you can think of some other exciting and self-destructive activity to distract you from facing your real problems. Ooh, my inside voice has an idea. What's Darlene up to?

I like a lot of witnesses around.

"Come quickly—I think I had an out-of-pocket experience."

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

'Isn't that gown cute? Those are little aortas all over it!'

"Poison ivy? No, I said you have a poison IV. Honestly, I have no idea why we keep that stuff right next to the medicine."

Man pondering signpost reading NHS and Complementary Medicine.

'Are you a hypochondriac who has everything but your regular placebo isn't doing the job? Talk to your doctor about the new extra-strength placebo.'

'I see a change in matters of the heart, liver, kidneys. . .'

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

"And then it hit me: I got up early for THIS? A slimy, cold worm? I HATE worms!"