Medical Field Comic Fan Gifts

'Where's the first-aid kit?'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

'I apologize, Mr. Wilson, that scream wasn't very professional of me. . . But that IS one ugly growth on your chest!'

Prostate Exam Second Opinion

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

Orthopaedist

'...Better clear my schedule too.'

Clown's knee reflex sends doctor through ceiling

Operation Tattoo

"I'm having you fitted with a monitoring device that will help reduce blood glucose during meals by automatically signaling the brain to reduce food absorption. It's called a belt."

M.D. Mrs. Hoskins is here to match wits with you regarding her symptoms.

Lazy Doctor

"Hi! My name is Kevin, and I'll be your doctor today."

'Now, don't panic, but I'd like you to take off all your clothes so we can burn them.'

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"Good news! It's only cancer."

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

"Please have a seat over by the door, sir - We're looking for a volunteer to examine you."

"According to your EKG, you are not a good hearted person."

"While I'm not an internist...I'd say you coughed up your small intestines!"

"Those sinus pills you prescribed didn't work, doc...I put three up my nose every day for a week and I'm still congested!"

'His heartbeat has been like that ever since he had the pig valve installed.'

"Doctor, I've got double vision...!"

'Your HMO won't cover injuries stemming form office politics.'