Medical Education Gifts

'A little professionalism, people. When asking a patient to undress, we do not giggle.'

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

'I thought we didn't have to know the spleen.'

Psychometric tests would weed out 25% of all applicants (medical schools).

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

"This is a teaching hospital."

Surgeon chiselling at a patient.

Doctor looks at books under the genre 'Stuff they never taught you in medical school'.

"He just loves his cute little postmortem doll!"

Man about to pay his hospital bill notices a team of doctors and nurses waiting to resuscitate him.

Proud Parent Of A Medical School Student With Huge Debt.

"Gross."

"Until my diplomas come back from the framer I don't feel comfortable giving you a diagnosis."

'A student nurse drew my blood and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.'

'I couldn't afford college in case you were wondering why my diploma and certification are written in crayon.'

"Sofia, right? You hung out in the back of Professor Dillof’s anatomy lectures."

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

"If I make it into medical school it'll be as a cadaver!"

"Doctor, have you any advice to offer a young man who would love to be a physician but whose crowded schedule simply doesn't permit time for medical school?"

Students singing 'Now we know our A-B-Os'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

vaccine wars.

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."