Medical School Gifts

'How's the spleen?' 'The spleen? Where is it?' 'I never studied the spleen.' 'I was left back in my spleen class.' 'I failed spleen.' 'I thought we didn't have to know the spleen.'

These magazines are all current! You can tell he's fresh out of medical school.'

"I've donated all my diplomas to Doctors Without Diplomas."

'Dad, I want to be a doctor like you when I grow up!'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

Physician tending a mummy.

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

Providing Healthcare For All

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'