Starting Medical School Gifts

Medical students learning how to perform a prostate examination.

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

"This semester I'm taking litigation avoidance. How about you?"

Entrance Exam for the Mildred School of Medicine

"Go to sleep, Harold... you've prepared enough for the third years!"

Anatomy.

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

Medical School - 'I'd like to welcome you all to our intern program. I'm your instructor, Dr. Harold T. Johnson.'

"This is a teaching hospital."

"...and that concludes your first lecture on anatomy."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'First, insure against doing harm.'

"I didn't realize there would be so much yucky stuff."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Medical Student

"I'm taking the quiz at the end of each chapter."

"Same here. It's my first time too."

"The printer ran out of ink so that's only a partial list of the side effects."

'I don't know what happened! All I did was say I went into medicine for the money!'

'It's my dream to go to medical school, and become a proctologist!'

Med School Mascots.

'Stop her Henry!'

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

Day one, medical shool: 'This is my elbow, this is my ass...'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

"You're at a teaching hospital. Hence, all the tests."

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

"I wasn't murdered, Hamlet. I just came back to encourage you to go to medical school."

Med. school 101 - 'Affordable diseases'. Med. school 302 - 'Unaffordable diseases'.

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'