Beginning A Medical Career Gifts

'Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator.'

Day one, medical shool: 'This is my elbow, this is my ass...'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

Happy Birthday to you.

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

'I would have come to you sooner, but you hadn't graduated from medical school yet.'

'A woman obsetrician! What do women know about that sort of thing?'

"This is a teaching hospital."

'I was healthy until a guy disagreed with me at a meeting on health care.'

Doctor sleeps in a patients bed.

Exploring Healthcare Careers

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

Med School Mascots.

Medical students learning how to perform a prostate examination.

"Well, there's nothing in the rules that says baboons can't perform surgery, so what the hey, let's give him a shot."

Anatomy.

'Underpaid, overworked, stressed and sick of criticism...still enough of my problems do you still need the toilet?'