Medical Device Buff Gifts

Yes, ma'am. As soon as we reach an altitude of 10,000 feet, you may turn his pacemaker back on.

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

Man with arrow in back - "We're going to run some tests to see if it's psychosomatic."

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"Relax, I'm only hear to see my osteopath."

'I know just how you feel.'

'Why are you giving me an allergy shot. Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-allergy shot?'

'Talk about high-tech! You'll be getting a pacemaker ipod combo.'

"I had no idea that exercising my right of immunity meant this."

Fart Sample.

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

Water: the first medicine

Tommy John Surgery.

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

"Dermatology? That sounds interesting. Myself, I've always been in cardiology."

'Lucky for you there was a safety net.'

"Your D.N.A. test shows you're predisposed to sue doctors."

'Our new multi-syringe will take care of all your allergies in one fell swoop.'

"Now where was I?"

"I'm from Special Ops."

"I think that's the newest machine replacing the new machine we just installed."

We flushed your arteries, checked your fluids, and topped off your AB positive, but look at this kidney - When's the last time you had it replaced?

"It was touch and go for a while, but he's out of the woods now!"

"Don't be alarmed. It's just our technician photo-bombing your X-ray."

'No, no, the pills don't have any medication to improve your balance. You'll just get steadier on your feet by trying to catch pills that are thrown to you.'

"I miss the days when my doctor was older than me!"

"It's just a reaction to all that artificial flavoring and artificial sweetening. Now if you just take this synthetic medicine..."

"Your fastball is just hanging and your curve isn't breaking at all. What you should do is take an analgesic with some pain-relieving anti-inflammatory ingredients for a few days."

"Oh, oh...I detect traces of tree nuts...where's my epipen?"

"Forget vampires! I'm worried about EBOLA!"

'I need to depox.'