Medical Device Buff Pillows

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

Man with arrow in back - "We're going to run some tests to see if it's psychosomatic."

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"Relax, I'm only hear to see my osteopath."

'I know just how you feel.'

'Why are you giving me an allergy shot. Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-allergy shot?'

'Talk about high-tech! You'll be getting a pacemaker ipod combo.'

"I had no idea that exercising my right of immunity meant this."

Fart Sample.

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

"Dermatology? That sounds interesting. Myself, I've always been in cardiology."

Water: the first medicine

'Lucky for you there was a safety net.'

"Your D.N.A. test shows you're predisposed to sue doctors."

"Now where was I?"

"I'm from Special Ops."

"Don't be alarmed. It's just our technician photo-bombing your X-ray."

"It was touch and go for a while, but he's out of the woods now!"

"I think that's the newest machine replacing the new machine we just installed."

"It's just a reaction to all that artificial flavoring and artificial sweetening. Now if you just take this synthetic medicine..."

"I miss the days when my doctor was older than me!"

"Your fastball is just hanging and your curve isn't breaking at all. What you should do is take an analgesic with some pain-relieving anti-inflammatory ingredients for a few days."

'I need to depox.'

Patient

"Forget vampires! I'm worried about EBOLA!"

"Oh, oh...I detect traces of tree nuts...where's my epipen?"