Medical Bill Wrangler Gifts

'You must be seriously ill. They've called in your accountant.'

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

How Many It Takes

"We're going to have to save some money...and one way is to rewrite the rules on expenses claim."

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

Why you must go to work

'Thanks, I just know that I'll never be able to repay your kindness . . .'

'A willingness to sacrifice yourself to bring 'peace and succor to the suffering' is all very well Mother Theresa but I don't think it makes up for your lack of knowledge of current hand sanitisation protocols.'

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

"If it's an expensive surgery, we now implant a GPS tracking device for the hospital's collections department."

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

'I've invested my heart and soul in this company. I need a receipt for tax purposes.'

"You wouldn't dare say that to me if my accountant were here."

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

'And the 4 years it took him to get the permit teaches him a lot about doing business in the U.S.'

'These continuous tax increases will be the death of us.'

"The initial test results are in and you have excellent coverage."

An expletive of editors

You want tech support. This is mockery and belittlement.

'I'm can't tell if this card from our insurance company is optimistic encouragement or a threat!'

'The doctor told me to avoid stress and then sends me a bill for $670.00.'

'We're moving you from intensive care to intensive billing.'

Tax - Random Audit

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

'It's for you.'

'We don't want to interfere to much, just a couple of things...what you do and how you do it!'

"Why couldn't you open that wide during the procedure?"

'There's only one side effect from this medication. It starts when you don't pay my bill!'