Medical Bill Skeptic Gifts

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"

'I'm can't tell if this card from our insurance company is optimistic encouragement or a threat!'

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'Sorry, our HMO doesn't approve treatments of 'owies'.'

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

'The doctor told me to avoid stress and then sends me a bill for $670.00.'

"Well the good news is that according to your insurance there is nothing wrong with you."

"Your medical insurance doesn't cover 'Acts of God' like illness"

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

'I really should have paid more attention to the company's health care coverage options before I accepted a job here.'

'House calls?...Dr. Latrobe doesn't even make phone calls!'

Man robbed by medical center.

'The Rich Get Richer - The Poor Get Poorer'

"Why couldn't you open that wide during the procedure?"

"Your 'businessman's lunch' was $9.95, sir, but I had to add a 'fair share' surcharge."

'Dr. Hall's horoscope says not to tamper with another person's heart, so he's postponing your bypass surgery until next week.'

''Free prescription drugs'? — We don't even have doctors!'

"It seems all doctors agree with you, but I'd still like to get a 15th opinion."

"This will buy you four months.

Government spin doctors consult Enron accountants over figures.

'Of course you can have a second opinion. Let's just hope he gets here in time.'

Following several health insurance denials of coverage, Thelma finally resolves to entrust her hubby's seasonal depression to the gentle alternative process by psychotherapist Hans-Georg Stumke.

"We'll have to open you up again - We need to settle a bet."