Medical Bill Skeptic Gifts

"Where do you think you're going, pal? You can't leave your body until you've paid your bill."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"

"Your insurance company decided the heart surgery isn't necessary, but they said they'd approve breast augmentation."

'I'm can't tell if this card from our insurance company is optimistic encouragement or a threat!'

'The doctor told me to avoid stress and then sends me a bill for $670.00.'

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'Sorry, our HMO doesn't approve treatments of 'owies'.'

"Well the good news is that according to your insurance there is nothing wrong with you."

"Your medical insurance doesn't cover 'Acts of God' like illness"

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

'I really should have paid more attention to the company's health care coverage options before I accepted a job here.'

'House calls?...Dr. Latrobe doesn't even make phone calls!'

'The Rich Get Richer - The Poor Get Poorer'

Man robbed by medical center.

'Dr. Hall's horoscope says not to tamper with another person's heart, so he's postponing your bypass surgery until next week.'

"Why couldn't you open that wide during the procedure?"

''Free prescription drugs'? — We don't even have doctors!'

"It seems all doctors agree with you, but I'd still like to get a 15th opinion."

"Your 'businessman's lunch' was $9.95, sir, but I had to add a 'fair share' surcharge."

"This will buy you four months.

Government spin doctors consult Enron accountants over figures.

'Of course you can have a second opinion. Let's just hope he gets here in time.'

"Your insurance only pays for us to put wheels on this thing."

"We'll have to open you up again - We need to settle a bet."

"My new health plan only allows in network complaining."