Media Sensationalist Gifts

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

CIA report

"Actually, yes, honey — I do believe 'Fox News' is an oxymoron."

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

Why do you hate the media?

Classic News.

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

"Climate change is not real. It's fake climate!"

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

"This just in: you thought joy was within reach, but you were wrong."

'Our Anesthesiologist resigned recently.'

'Worldcon' - financial statement fraud exposed.

'You are in court today, so I've got to take you into make up.'

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

"Actually, we will replace you."

"Now remember...no lies about the government...only lies from the government."

Time for today's dose of emotional manipulation...

Newspaper headlines - Butters kills, Margarine kills.

'Bad enough they always ask what the worst case scenario is. Must they always look so damned happy asking it?'

'The controversy builds, as we gather more half-arsed comments to dress up as considered public opinion!'

Celebrity 10 o'clock news...

Reality TV

Lose the Iraq War.

"Paparazzi!"

"According to the Times, the cartoonist drew my right hand wrong."