Media Relations Officer Pillows

Cabinet Office Extinguishers

'How fast can you hype?'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"National security adviser"

This Message Has No Content

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

Newspaper suicide.

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

Free press.

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

'How fast can you hype?'

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

Freedom of the Press

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

'This next part is important. Can you say, ‘putting people before profits' - three times fast - without laughing?'

'We're out of duct tape.'