Media Guru Gifts

'Wait a sec...do you want that comment off the record or out of context?'

"Nowadays we call it 'media management.' Not a 'payoff'."

'Nicholas Witchell couldn't make it on the 8th.'

Servile journalism

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

"We're being accused of talking down the economy...I want the idea looked at on pages 1,3,6 and 7 with a colour spread in the supplement."

Bernard Derome: If the trend continues...I'll be retiring in 2009.

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

'Your name and address, please, sir.'

"The senator really has these press conferences down pat...by the time he's finished answering, the reporter has forgotten the question!"

"THe ratings and the memes are off the charts!"

Digital TV for Beginners

School of journalism and politics.

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

Idea! Waste it on someone else. I know how I can spend my spare time now that my work hours have been cut. Citizen journalist. What did you know and when did you know it?! Oh brother.

Pharmco Marketing Dept. We have an improved measles vaccine. How should we promote it? TV spots!

"What's on Fox News?"

Slow Day at the Editorial Board

Showbiz Awards

'How fast can you hype?'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"National security adviser"

'Here's MY information highway!'

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Robots In The Boardroom

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

Target your customer.

The Modern Novel.

"I feel a great disturbance in The Force."

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"