Media Career Start Pillows

"Actually, minister, as long as you say 'strong and stable, you can fill the rest with any old b*llocks!"

Trial by Media

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

If nobody had invented graphics

Gay Times...

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

Local News in Heaven

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

"Wow. . . is that you, Mr Erdogan. . . Mr Kim Jong-un. . . Mr Putin. . . Mr Maduro. . . Mr. Bin-Salman. . . Mr al-Assad. . ."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Reporter #6: television.

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

'That's correct Shaun. The government is comprised of 5 branches...the executive, legislative, judicial, lobbyist and media.'

Business school graduate trying to climb to the top of the world

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...