Mechanical Mind Pillows

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making you Torque.'

'The human body is a very intricate piece of machinery, Mr. Whitney, and I'm afraid you're just not mechanically inclined.'

"You've even got me confused now but I'm reasonably sure it's 'righty tighty - lefty loosey'."

'Broken down! Mr. Stephenson mend it sir, mend it, its not rocket science.'

Bar customers with oil extractors for heads.

'It's not safe the way it is. It could fall on someone.'

Poor build quality threatens the Black Cab: 'No! I said I can't take you south of the river.'

Private work adjustments

Well paid job

"Sorry, Doc. I decided not to resuscitate."

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

Small child building a large contraption from junk

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

Computer operator welding machine.

Man can levitate but can't hold fingers properly.

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

Tonight's Lecture: Eastern Mystical Approaches to Dream Interpretation. Yin-Yang Jung.

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'I think I found the problem.'

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

Thinking.

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"They have special forces, but we have policy reports!"

Pixie Dust $2.00 A Handfull

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

Analyst and patient