Mechanical Mind Pillows

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making you Torque.'

'The human body is a very intricate piece of machinery, Mr. Whitney, and I'm afraid you're just not mechanically inclined.'

"You've even got me confused now but I'm reasonably sure it's 'righty tighty - lefty loosey'."

'Broken down! Mr. Stephenson mend it sir, mend it, its not rocket science.'

Bar customers with oil extractors for heads.

'It's not safe the way it is. It could fall on someone.'

Poor build quality threatens the Black Cab: 'No! I said I can't take you south of the river.'

Private work adjustments

Well paid job

"Sorry, Doc. I decided not to resuscitate."

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

Small child building a large contraption from junk

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

Computer operator welding machine.

Man can levitate but can't hold fingers properly.

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

'I think I found the problem.'

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

Thinking.

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

Pixie Dust $2.00 A Handfull

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

'I think that's enough brain defragging for today.'

Analyst and patient

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"They have special forces, but we have policy reports!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

"Out today due to foreseen circumstances."