Mechanical Buff Pillows

'I went to wash the wheels on that European Airbus A380 by myself. I didn't know it had 22 wheels.'

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

Knight Golfing

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

"We're exclusively delts."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

Missing You.

"Our focus group will butcher your focus group."

The Tiger Tank that came to Safari Tea.

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

Military style hedgehog

Filling the Missile Gap

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

Binary Man

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

"When I got laid off, the corporation enlisted me in the army."

“Oi! This is a no fly zone!”

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

"Especially modified you say..."

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

Old veteran walking in sun casting a giant shadow as a young soldier

'Chili again?'

Knights of the Square Table.

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

Sub Editor

'You can't recuse yourself from a war!'

US fears missile competition.