Mechanics Buff Pillows

"Don't be ridiculous. If the wheels were round, you'd never be able to stop."

"You don't want to borrow my lawnmower. He's not real sharp, hard to start, and backfires a lot."

'It's been three days, Earl. I don't think she's coming back. You should have left it in park.'

The Tin Man gets a physical.

Knight Spraying WD40 Under Arms.

'I've tried, but the 'Car Guys' have my phone number blocked.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Driverless cars rage.

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

The Tiger Tank that came to Safari Tea.

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

"I told him he should have trained more."

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Filling the Missile Gap

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

Military style hedgehog

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

Binary Man

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

"When I got laid off, the corporation enlisted me in the army."

“Oi! This is a no fly zone!”

"Especially modified you say..."

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

Old veteran walking in sun casting a giant shadow as a young soldier

'Chili again?'

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

Sub Editor