Mechanic's Apprentice T-Shirts

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

'You learn how to make dough later. For now, you're on a knead-to-know basis.'

"Tell Mrs. Pomeroy we've found the source of that strange hint of musk."

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"One more rinse and the inside of your car will be clean too, Dad."

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

"I'd like my daughter to know something about engines."

Education and Apprenticeships

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

Will work for Food Network.

'Just as we finally get the industrial revolution down pat, we find ourselves in the middle of the electronic revolution.'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

A butcher and his apprentice.

"For my next trick, I'll require an audience."

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

'Well, that does not yet look like a wall. Try it again, Liam!'

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

Man behind stage to lady about professor with person under podium: 'That's Professor Allen's understudy.'

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

Builder's School

He spends all weekend under the stupid thing, but I don't think he's really fixing anything.

'When you're right, you're right. When you're wrong, you're fired.'

"Firstly, have you ever had an appendix out before?"