Measure Once Expert Pillows

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

"Yep, first the gold run out, then the microchip manufacturing went overseas."

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

"Do you have a few minutes to talk about the metric system?"

"I can never go metric. 'Al's 30.48 Centimeter Hot Dogs' just doesn't sound right."

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"It kind of puts it all in perspective, doesn't it?"

'What's a cubic foot?' - 'Whatever it is claim compensation.'

'Don't give up Albert - one of these cans has to have tuna in it!'

The Multi-tasking Snake Charmer

"What do you think? Would flaming marshmallows make good torches?"

Wal Max - Complaints Department

'For the remainder of this health and safety discussion, I shall refrain from leaning back too far on my chair.'

"I am sorry to inform you that you are displaying early signs of senile dimensiona Mr Johnson."

'I thought you said 36 inch neck and 16 inch sleeve.'

"If it takes 4 hrs to change your laptop, 3 hrs to charge your tablet, and 2 hrs your phone, how many hours are you going to have to go without the internet?"

A Over Crowded Office.

Man driving a single wheel

37.85 Litres Hats

Expert and Ex-Pert

'It's an American classic, with parts from Japan and Canada and assembled in Mexico.'

"I prefer the metric system. 18 centimeters sounds better than 7 inches."