Measure Once Expert Mugs

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

"The official measure of an inch is three iPhones stacked on top of each other."

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

"Yep, first the gold run out, then the microchip manufacturing went overseas."

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

"Do you have a few minutes to talk about the metric system?"

"I can never go metric. 'Al's 30.48 Centimeter Hot Dogs' just doesn't sound right."

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

'What's a cubic foot?' - 'Whatever it is claim compensation.'

"It kind of puts it all in perspective, doesn't it?"

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

'Don't give up Albert - one of these cans has to have tuna in it!'

The Multi-tasking Snake Charmer

"What do you think? Would flaming marshmallows make good torches?"

Whatever ran over the poor guy really left some marks. Tape measure.

The sooner you stop freaking out, the sooner I can take the pic.

Wal Max - Complaints Department

Let the profit-making begin!

'For the remainder of this health and safety discussion, I shall refrain from leaning back too far on my chair.'

'I thought you said 36 inch neck and 16 inch sleeve.'

"I am sorry to inform you that you are displaying early signs of senile dimensiona Mr Johnson."

"If it takes 4 hrs to change your laptop, 3 hrs to charge your tablet, and 2 hrs your phone, how many hours are you going to have to go without the internet?"

A Over Crowded Office.

Expert and Ex-Pert

37.85 Litres Hats

Man driving a single wheel

'Today, I did the same thing I did yesterday, and the day before. I'm feeling so run down...'

'It's an American classic, with parts from Japan and Canada and assembled in Mexico.'