Mealtime Etiquette Pillows

"Stop playing with your food!"

"You do like octopus?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"You keep impeccable time."

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"This time, let's not just fill up on bread."

"The last doggy bag."

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

"What a slobster."

'Don't chew your food.'

Screen Time at the Dining Table

"Would you like free or expensive water?"

"Guys, remember, no feeding frenzy: Leave some for Grandpa to chew on..."

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."