Meal Skimmer Gifts

'I'm taking you off three things - breakfast, lunch, and dinner.'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Computer games

Am Awful Crammer.

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

'To be honest, that's all most people read.'

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

'Care of your new hammock. Let's face it, whatever we write here, you're not going to bother.'

Everyone have enough to eat and drink? We can start the discussion! I'll have a drop of wine. Do you have another cookie? I could do one more cheese puff. Got it. No one's read the book. I googled lost of reviews!

Fully decked out in his new skimmer-Boy Mike was able to skim the pool in just 60 seconds,

"We just want a vacation --- we don't want to learn anything."

'We don't know HOW to surf - Can't you part the sea or something?'

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

'I gained about two hours a day. I gave up the New York Times.'

Grandchildren's Menu: Whatever's on your plate and no funny business

'No dessert? You mean I ate all that food for nothing?'

'It was late, very late, but the peas had touched the mash potatoes, and only dawn could lift the curse.'

'OK that's ten pieces of silver each, except for Judas...you had the Greek salad and the cheese platter, so you owe thirty pieces of silver.'

'Just as I suspected - cheating on our diet!'

'I wish I had eaten all that bread.'

'Then that's one child's plate, one special, and one anything-as-long-as-I-don't-have-to-cook-it.'

"I refuse to read the safety manual. Last time I tried, it gave me a severe papercut!"

Interest rate remain at all time low...

'I did a speed reading course yesterday.' - 'It's incredible! I read Moby Dick in 27 minutes this morning!' - 'It's about a whale or something.'

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'

Slow down!