Novel Skimmer Gifts

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

Computer games

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'You wash and I'll dry.'

'To be honest, that's all most people read.'

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

Air Sitar.

The Tortoise and the Herring. Triathlon. I always knew that I'd pass him after the swimming portion of the race.

'Care of your new hammock. Let's face it, whatever we write here, you're not going to bother.'

Santa entering a pool for a swim

"Okay, I finished my novel. Now what?"

Everyone have enough to eat and drink? We can start the discussion! I'll have a drop of wine. Do you have another cookie? I could do one more cheese puff. Got it. No one's read the book. I googled lost of reviews!

Swim meet - sharks vs. humans

Fully decked out in his new skimmer-Boy Mike was able to skim the pool in just 60 seconds,

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

'We don't know HOW to surf - Can't you part the sea or something?'

"We just want a vacation --- we don't want to learn anything."

'I gained about two hours a day. I gave up the New York Times.'

"I don't think he's wearing that snorkel because he wants to swim with us. Especially, since it's lunch time."

Tetanus Jab

"Hey buddy move over! This is the fast lane!"

A road side billboard advertises: 'bus drivers eat-free' a man is seen rigging a false panel that looks like a bus to his caravan.

"I refuse to read the safety manual. Last time I tried, it gave me a severe papercut!"

'I'm taking you off three things - breakfast, lunch, and dinner.'

'Let's face it Frank, you just don't have a green thumb.'

Interest rate remain at all time low...

'I did a speed reading course yesterday.' - 'It's incredible! I read Moby Dick in 27 minutes this morning!' - 'It's about a whale or something.'

Shark in the Pool

'All I really wanted was a swim!'

Slow down!