Instruction Manual Skimmer Gifts

'Care of your new hammock. Let's face it, whatever we write here, you're not going to bother.'

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

Computer games

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

'That's not what it looked like in the shop...' - 'It's near enough.'

'To be honest, that's all most people read.'

"It says it can be assembled by a 5 year old child - pop out and find me one..."

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

Spiro & Pusho cutting log with a saw

Everyone have enough to eat and drink? We can start the discussion! I'll have a drop of wine. Do you have another cookie? I could do one more cheese puff. Got it. No one's read the book. I googled lost of reviews!

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

Fully decked out in his new skimmer-Boy Mike was able to skim the pool in just 60 seconds,

'I gained about two hours a day. I gave up the New York Times.'

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

"We just want a vacation --- we don't want to learn anything."

'We don't know HOW to surf - Can't you part the sea or something?'

"I don't care how much the petrol costs for the strimmer. Get it cut!"

'There's really no need for confusion. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L clearly explains ...'

"If you roped your cowhand by mistake, turn to page 21..."

"These are just the directions to the remote. The directions to the TV are much longer. Technology!"

'Connect insert A, B, and C into slots D, E, and F. Tighten using assembly tool G. What in the H are they talking about?'

How to Read a Book

"Doctor, don't you have a conflict of interest by owning a ski resort?"

"I refuse to read the safety manual. Last time I tried, it gave me a severe papercut!"

'I'm taking you off three things - breakfast, lunch, and dinner.'

'Magic and culinary.'

Man trying to paint a landscape reading 'art guidelines'.

Dummies for Dummies.

Interest rate remain at all time low...

'I did a speed reading course yesterday.' - 'It's incredible! I read Moby Dick in 27 minutes this morning!' - 'It's about a whale or something.'

Instructions on how to be a golfer.