Instruction Manual Skimmer T-Shirts

'Care of your new hammock. Let's face it, whatever we write here, you're not going to bother.'

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

Computer games

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

'That's not what it looked like in the shop...' - 'It's near enough.'

'To be honest, that's all most people read.'

"It says it can be assembled by a 5 year old child - pop out and find me one..."

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

Spiro & Pusho cutting log with a saw

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

'I gained about two hours a day. I gave up the New York Times.'

"We just want a vacation --- we don't want to learn anything."

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

'We don't know HOW to surf - Can't you part the sea or something?'

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

"These are just the directions to the remote. The directions to the TV are much longer. Technology!"

"If you roped your cowhand by mistake, turn to page 21..."

"I don't care how much the petrol costs for the strimmer. Get it cut!"

'There's really no need for confusion. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L clearly explains ...'

How to Read a Book

"Doctor, don't you have a conflict of interest by owning a ski resort?"

'Connect insert A, B, and C into slots D, E, and F. Tighten using assembly tool G. What in the H are they talking about?'

"I refuse to read the safety manual. Last time I tried, it gave me a severe papercut!"

Man trying to paint a landscape reading 'art guidelines'.

'Magic and culinary.'

'I'm taking you off three things - breakfast, lunch, and dinner.'

Dummies for Dummies.

Interest rate remain at all time low...

'I did a speed reading course yesterday.' - 'It's incredible! I read Moby Dick in 27 minutes this morning!' - 'It's about a whale or something.'

Instructions on how to be a golfer.

Nuke: 'Use only as directed.'