Classics Skimmer T-Shirts

'I did a speed reading course yesterday.' - 'It's incredible! I read Moby Dick in 27 minutes this morning!' - 'It's about a whale or something.'

Computer games

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

Selfie

'To be honest, that's all most people read.'

"He claims to be self aware but he clearly can't read a room."

Greek goddess

'Lion!'

'Care of your new hammock. Let's face it, whatever we write here, you're not going to bother.'

Everyone have enough to eat and drink? We can start the discussion! I'll have a drop of wine. Do you have another cookie? I could do one more cheese puff. Got it. No one's read the book. I googled lost of reviews!

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

Fully decked out in his new skimmer-Boy Mike was able to skim the pool in just 60 seconds,

Athena

'I gained about two hours a day. I gave up the New York Times.'

'We don't know HOW to surf - Can't you part the sea or something?'

"We just want a vacation --- we don't want to learn anything."

'IV!'

"I studied ancient history while I was out sick. I read the magazines in my doctor's office."

Thomas Hood.

Roman Condom Machine

'Mary tells me you own a motorcycle.'

'Right Sir, here we go...'

Bert and Edna Bentley - At it since 1943.

Philip Larkin.

"Doctor, don't you have a conflict of interest by owning a ski resort?"

'I'm in good shape . . . I fitness swim up a waterfall!'

'Great job pointing him out, Scout...Now what?'

A road side billboard advertises: 'bus drivers eat-free' a man is seen rigging a false panel that looks like a bus to his caravan.

'Cesar loves to conker.'

"I refuse to read the safety manual. Last time I tried, it gave me a severe papercut!"

"Hi! I'm at the windmill."